Hate Fear Anger Love

How to Write an Angry Letter to Someone — But Don’t Send It

Hate, Fear, and Love Are Four Letter Words

Tom Egelhoff
3 min readSep 29, 2022


Photo by Yogendra Singh on Unsplash

There are times that friends, family, or co-workers’ remarks make us uneasy. No, that’s too mild. Angry? Still not enough. WE GO POSTAL.

These rude and insensitive people are the genesis of road rage, workplace shootings, and the mean girls in high school.

Our emotional self-worth is unceremoniously kicked to the curb.

Without thinking, we’ve given those we don’t respect or like power over us.

The hurtful remarks of our nemesis are as damaging as a stake through the heart.

As a result, we react in kind and make it personal.

As you react emotionally, things quickly escalate to a higher level of hatred or distrust.

Here’s one alternative that might help if you find yourself in that situation.

How to Write An Angry Letter

Before you grab the shotgun, machete, or the person’s social media Facebook page, take a piece of paper, pencil, or pen, and write out all your feelings and emotions to the one who wronged you.

Get in their face and say what you’d say to them face-to-face. An “R” rating is too tame.

Make it XXX replete with language — violence — bombs bursting in the air.

Don’t pull any punches. Pummel them until nothing is left but an unrecognizable splat.

Editing is perfectly OK. Get a Thesaurus if necessary for alternatives to words like despicable, questionable number of parents, calorie-challenged, or inbred.

Furiously scribble page after page of rants and diatribes. You’re a writer, for God’s sake.

Words fill your quiver in an unending flow. Words are the weapon from which there is no defense.

Unleash the alphabetic AR-15. There are no Geneva Convention rules of war to hold you back. Verbal torture is the order of the day.

When your draft is publication-ready, sit back, relax, and read your letter to yourself several times.



Tom Egelhoff

Top Writer on Government, Entrepreneur, Radio Talk Show Host, Subscribe to my FREE Small Town Business Newsletter on Substack https://tomegelhoff.substack.com/